Hebrews 13:4 (NASB95)
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
I read a news article recently that staggered me on multiple levels. It was about a website called Ashley Madison. You may have heard something in the news lately about them, but I had never heard of it prior to reading the article. The stated sole purpose of this website is to help people have extra marital affairs without anyone finding out.
The first thing that I was surprised by was not that something like this existed but how popular it is. Among dating sites, it is second only to match.com. In fact, as I write this blog, the website claims to have over 40 million members. That number seems astronomical to me. These are people that have not only toyed with the idea in their minds but have actively taken steps to pursue someone other than their spouse or allow themselves to be pursued.
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
I read a news article recently that staggered me on multiple levels. It was about a website called Ashley Madison. You may have heard something in the news lately about them, but I had never heard of it prior to reading the article. The stated sole purpose of this website is to help people have extra marital affairs without anyone finding out.
The first thing that I was surprised by was not that something like this existed but how popular it is. Among dating sites, it is second only to match.com. In fact, as I write this blog, the website claims to have over 40 million members. That number seems astronomical to me. These are people that have not only toyed with the idea in their minds but have actively taken steps to pursue someone other than their spouse or allow themselves to be pursued.
The second thing that just floored me is that the article I read was by a major online publication, and it didn’t even have a hint of contempt for the website or its users. In fact, the writer seemed to admire its ingenuity and actually made a few suggestions on how to be more effective when using it. The only thing the author seemed to regret was the fact that the website had a security breach which exposed many of their confidential users to public scrutiny. What’s more, the author’s solution to this embarrassing situation was to have an open and honest talk with your spouse about your desire for an “open relationship,” in which both partners are free to date outside of the marriage with the consent of the other.
What I think of as I read this story is how it dishonors marriage. As a culture, I see us less and less holding up a marriage between one man and one woman as an honorable and valued endeavor. Instead, we speak about marriage as a prison (“the old ball and chain”), a lack of freedom, “a slow death”.[1] We change the meaning of marriage by allowing same sex unions. We see some psychologists endorsing extramarital affairs as helpful to a struggling marriage. People feel that if they remain committed to one person for the rest of their life, they will be missing out on something. If they do commit to another, it is because they cling to the hopeless dream that the other will fulfill their needs for the rest of their life or for more practical reasons like shared health benefits, a child on the way, or family pressure. The moment the other does not fulfill, family pressure subsides or even turns against the partner, they are free to pursue fulfillment with someone else, even while they are still married.
Marriage was intended by God to be always viewed as a good and honorable thing because it is. We should be rejoicing at the life-long commitment a couple is making, not questioning it. Dating couples should be evaluating each other as future mates and be dreaming of the day they can enter into this great adventure called marriage. Instead, most live their relationships and marriages with one eye always on Plan B. We should view the physical union shared exclusively between one man and one woman and only one man and one woman as the most desirable and fulfilling sex anyone can have, not because of some antiquated notion, but because it is!
Regardless of the culture around us, may we ever be placing high honor on the permanence and exclusivity that two people can enjoy in marriage and incinerate any shred of a Plan B.
[1] Marriage Is A Slow Death: Read This Before Taking The Plunge by Phil Coochie
What I think of as I read this story is how it dishonors marriage. As a culture, I see us less and less holding up a marriage between one man and one woman as an honorable and valued endeavor. Instead, we speak about marriage as a prison (“the old ball and chain”), a lack of freedom, “a slow death”.[1] We change the meaning of marriage by allowing same sex unions. We see some psychologists endorsing extramarital affairs as helpful to a struggling marriage. People feel that if they remain committed to one person for the rest of their life, they will be missing out on something. If they do commit to another, it is because they cling to the hopeless dream that the other will fulfill their needs for the rest of their life or for more practical reasons like shared health benefits, a child on the way, or family pressure. The moment the other does not fulfill, family pressure subsides or even turns against the partner, they are free to pursue fulfillment with someone else, even while they are still married.
Marriage was intended by God to be always viewed as a good and honorable thing because it is. We should be rejoicing at the life-long commitment a couple is making, not questioning it. Dating couples should be evaluating each other as future mates and be dreaming of the day they can enter into this great adventure called marriage. Instead, most live their relationships and marriages with one eye always on Plan B. We should view the physical union shared exclusively between one man and one woman and only one man and one woman as the most desirable and fulfilling sex anyone can have, not because of some antiquated notion, but because it is!
Regardless of the culture around us, may we ever be placing high honor on the permanence and exclusivity that two people can enjoy in marriage and incinerate any shred of a Plan B.
[1] Marriage Is A Slow Death: Read This Before Taking The Plunge by Phil Coochie
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